Missing: Vagabonds
by Kesiala
Summary: Various sidestories to my story Vagabonds, from prequels during their childhood to missing scenes during the story. You don't have to have read Vagabonds to understand them, and there will be SoraRiku in most.
1. Big Boys Don't Cry

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

**Explanation**: This "story" will be a set of prequels and missing scenes from Vagabonds. In response to getting one hundred and fifty reviews, I'm posting the first two I have finished now, with more to come when time allows – eventually, there may even be after-Vagabonds stories here.

Note: Kairi is only missing because she has not appeared yet – she appears nine years before KH, making Sora five and Riku six, and Riku is not yet six.

**Read**: If you remember, when they were in Agrabah, Riku remembered an incident involving Sora climbing and seagulls attacking. This is just a cute little expansion on that.

* * *

Vagabonds Prequel: Big Boys Don't Cry

The children watched the confrontation with wide eyes as the most spirited boy and the strongest boy faced off. Riku was the strongest of them, the one who was always getting challenged or challenging, always in something physical. Sora was the one who could cheer anyone up with his determination and smile. Usually the four and five year old were the best of friends, but that day, there wasn't a four year old and a five year old. Sora had just turned five years old, and Riku had apparently decided after much pointing out by Sora that they were the same age and now they were _both_big, that Sora had to prove that he was on the same level. Nevermind that in a few months the difference in age would change again. That was much too far in the future for them to think about.

"You don't," Sora snapped, pouting as the silver haired boy shrugged at his response.

"Don't care. I don't need to. All them know I'm better. And that you can't do it." The silver haired child was grinning smugly. The tree next to them was tall and a seagull's nest was at the top – but getting to the top was nearly impossible. _He_ could do it, of course. But Sora wasn't him.

"I can too!" Sora actually didn't even know what he was being challenged to do. Riku had been taunting him for... He didn't even know how long! The other child just hadn't bothered to specify what he was doing yet, and Sora was getting angry.

"Okay. Do it then. Get a bird feather from that nest!" Riku pointed straight up, smiling wickedly as Sora's gaze followed the direction. He wouldn't do it. It was a tall tree. It had to be ten times their height! Possibly an exaggeration, but it didn't matter. It was really tall, and Sora was a skinny, short kid.

"That's it? Sure!" Sora was overjoyed. Climbing a tree wasn't hard at all! It was all a matter of speed. If he went too slow it would give the bark more time to break. And he would need to watch his hands and feet, but his mother always said he was good at climbing trees.

In a moment, Sora was going up the tree like a weirdly shaped monkey and Riku gaped from the ground. Behind, he could hear Selphie and Tidus gasping and Wakka murmur something about it not being a good idea. Riku didn't care, he was too busy watching his friend zoom up. Its not like they could get in trouble for climbing trees. Besides, Selphie's older sister was supposed to be watching them, and she had wandered off.

The wild shrieks of seagulls was the only warning any of them had. Sora was at the top, his head hidden by the wide leaves and one hand reaching up through the leaves to grab at something. Riku's eyes widened as the white monsters tore from the sky to attack his friend. "Sora! Get down!"

Sora flinched as the birds dove, their shrieks a warning – but they weren't actually attacking yet. He reached forward, his eyes on a feather. "I almost got one!"

"Sora!" All four children shrieked together as the seagulls came back around. Sora yelped and Riku froze in horror as he saw his friend jerk back from the tree, the hand holding him to the trunk loosening and his feet slipping. He yelled something, but it did no good – Sora fell, landing right in front of him, his head and arm impacting the hardest. Later the boy would swear he heard the brunet's arm break, but back then all he could do was stare.

"Hey, is he alright?" Tidus asked fearfully. Riku stood rigid, unable to even lean forward and look. Sora wasn't moving.

"Selphie, go find your sister," Wakka ordered as he ran into the shack. A few moments later Riku was joined on the platform above the shack by Wakka, who apparently had none of his problems with movement as he had crouched down by Sora within moments.

"Is he alive?" Riku whispered, nearly trembling with the effort it took to ask. Had he just killed his friend? He had been the one to tell him to get a feather.

Wakka turned and made a face Riku had never seen on him before. He was_angry_ with him. "Don't know."

"What?" Riku snapped, unable to help himself. He could take a step forward or a step back and if Wakka didn't know how could he decide which he was supposed to do?

There was a low groan from beside Wakka and Riku let his eyes drift down. He almost cried in joy when he saw Sora's blue eyes open blearily. Then the brunet was crying out and his arm was held at a funny angle. Riku immediately stepped forward and crouched opposite Wakka, trying to look at his arm. "Does it hurt?"

Stupid question. Riku almost backed off at the watery gaze Sora turned on him. Then Sora smiled, weakly, and Riku knew there would be no tears falling because Sora was determined to be strong, like he was. Except Riku didn't feel strong then and he could already see his parents' disappointed eyes and everyone labeling him as a bad, stupid boy. "Darn it, Sora, you should have come down!"

"You shouldn't say that word!" Tidus squeaked as he trotted forward from the exit of the shack. Riku's lip curled slightly. He had heard_real_ swears and not the baby ones, but he was sure all of them would have died right there if he had said one of _them_.

"Didn't wanna," Sora muttered, apparently ignoring Riku's bad word and Tidus scolding him.

"Oh, damn! Sora, what the f- What happened?" Selphie's teenage sister was scrambling up, jumping onto the roof instead of using the stairs.

"Riku told him to get a feather, an' Sora fell." Tidus supplied, his eyes round as he stared in awe at the girl looming there.

"Tattletale," Riku and Sora hissed together. Riku smiled, pleased that Sora wasn't angry.

"Sora... Riku... Oh, never mind! When it comes to you two, there's no point. I'll let your parents handle it. Come on Sora, I'm taking you to the hospital. Selphie, you come too." And the girl dragged Sora to his feet.

But she hadn't managed to get him to budge before he was struggling in her grasp. "W-wait! Riku, here!"

Riku blinked as something was thrust at him. He grabbed it automatically and stared at Sora's grinning, triumphant face. He glanced at the other two boys. Tidus still looked shocked and even a little awed by the events that had taken place.

"You're stupid," Wakka stated, and left it at that. Riku ignored the two as they left, almost petting the object in his hand. He didn't feel stupid, not really. He felt something not nice. It hurt.

He looked at the long gray feather in his hand and resisted the urge to break out into tears. Sora hadn't cried, because big boys didn't cry.

Riku threw a temper tantrum the next day, and many days following as he found out he was grounded – and that even after he was grounded he was effectively banned from seeing Sora until further notice. "Further notice" meant until they stopped being mean.

Big boys didn't cry when their arms were broken or when their best friend had to go to the hospital – but Riku decided as he sat on the paopu tree and stared, waiting for a familiar spiky head, that it didn't count as crying if there was no one to see it.

And Sora was the only one who ever came up to him while he was on the tree.

When no one had come and teased him about crying, and his tears had dried out, Riku curled up underneath the tree and pretended he felt better.

There was a gray feather clenched in his fist. 


	2. Birthday Revelations

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

Setting: A few months before the beginning of Vagabonds, a few months after the end of KH2.

Notes: Many people asked for this, and I finally finished writing it. Enjoy!

* * *

Birthday Revelations

Riku's birthday came at the rainiest time on the islands. And when they lived on a tropical island that was a lot of rain. Sora and Kairi both managed nicer birthdays in warm, sometimes unbearably hot weather. Riku had got the short end of the stick. At least, Sora was sure that was what Riku was thinking.

It was just after midnight and it was the day Riku turned seventeen. As had once been the tradition – one Sora swore to revive – the three of them were together for Riku's birthday in a big sleepover. Their other friends had been at the house, but had left early, since the real part would come later – today. Just when it was daytime and not midnight when they were supposed to have fallen asleep.

Except Sora hadn't fallen asleep. He didn't want to say it to his friends, but he was a little afraid sometimes of falling asleep near them. He didn't know if the nightmares he had were visible on him, but he didn't want them knowing about them. So he had lain down on the floor with blankets and pillows and let Kairi curl up against him. It was easy to pretend to go to sleep.

It had also been easy to notice when Riku moved from his position opposite them. His head had been near theirs, his body facing the opposite direction to make it easy for them to talk as they fell asleep.

Sora had lifted his head slowly and craned his neck backwards to watch the boy once he decided Riku wasn't coming back to sleep. The older boy hadn't left the room – he was standing in front of the balcony doors, one hand pressed against the glass and his head bent so that his hair hid his face like a black cloak that should have been gone permanently.

_'What is permanent?'_ A bitter voice said and Sora shivered, and almost reached out this time – but Riku was there now and Roxas would be there later. Roxas would always be there – if it was Roxas. Sometimes he thought it was only his imagination.

He watched, waiting for something – and lightning lit up Riku's profile. Sora almost flinched, reminded of a storm that wasn't really a storm and of darkness that was darker even than night. But he continued watching, fascinated and wondering as Riku did flinch and muttered bitterly, "Happy birthday to me."

Suddenly, it occurred to Sora that Riku didn't much like storms anymore.

* * *

Kairi's smile warmed his heart and her touch was always a comfort. He kissed her gently in the rain one of the few times it wasn't pouring and felt... comfortable.

Lately, it had disturbed him to think that he wanted more than comfortable. Or something different. They were happy... but he couldn't find the spark. There was warmth and gentle nature, but he felt no need to go further. Sometimes he wanted to, but it was almost only because of curiosity. She was attractive – but thinking of having sex with Kairi was almost... wrong. Like she was a maiden princess that could only be made love to on her wedding night. Which was partly true – except Kairi did want more, he could tell.

There was a wall he didn't want to pass. He could see himself married to Kairi sometimes, with two children and a pretty house and with Riku their neighbor... except in that dream he didn't go out and fight Heartless, and Riku was always off alone to fight them, not wanting to disrupt their family life. The daydream turned chilly then. Riku could handle himself alone – but not forever.

His relationship with Riku right now was _comfortable_. Just like with Kairi. It would lead to that daydream world of happiness and sunny days... for him and Kairi. Riku... didn't make friends fast. He had admirers, and a few at school who imagined they were his enemies. But true friends, Riku only had a few of. And it was him and Kairi that were the only two he even came close to being totally open with.

He wanted to brush off those thoughts that Riku wasn't going to find anyone anytime soon. Especially when Riku didn't even appear to be_looking_. And a part of him thought that Kairi could be happy with someone else... maybe even Riku. But Riku hadn't fought for her, hadn't said a thing when they started going out. Just smiled at them and said he was glad for them. But he wanted Riku to be happy.

"I wonder when the next time we'll see the sun is," Kairi murmured into his ear and he jumped, and grinned at her, and kissed her lightly again.

Then he whispered a spell beneath his breath and tried to change it – just a little. He didn't usually experiment with his magic, it was straightforward – but he was glad he did when the Reflect spell briefly appeared in the air and a few droplets bounced back upwards. "Who knows? But a little water never hurt anyone."

"A little, maybe not. But this isn't a little water, Sora," She retorted after staring a moment at the water that bounced off. "Besides, if I remember, the last rainy season when you were on the island _you_ got sick."

"Only a little!" he protested – even though they both knew that while it hadn't turned desperately serious, he had been very sick. It had been enough to make Riku lose his attitude when he came over in the worst spots – which had made Sora worry more than any of his mother's or Kairi's fussing.

He shied away from thoughts of his mother and grinned at Kairi's stubborn look of exasperation. "So what'd you get him?"

"Not tell-ing," She sang, and he made a face at her – which wasn't a pout at all, no matter what Riku and Kairi said.

"Aw, come on... I'll tell you mine?" He stepped away so he could get a better look at her face and tried to look pleading. With the smile working its way onto his face it didn't quite make the cut.

She shook her head, grinning at him. "I know all about yours. Half of its fighting gear, ones a book I'm not sure he'll even understand and the other is a set of... tools?" She looked puzzled by the last part.

"He was getting interested in carpentry and repairing things and... Well, I suck at it, but I know you need tools and he didn't have any and kept having to borrow some so I... bought some?" He grinned a bit nervously. The tools he really wasn't sure about. The book – well, it wasn't what it looked like on first glance. It was a journal – but magical. He had wondered how Jiminy was able to write so much so fast – he even had the little details down in different sections, and notes about the Heartless.

Sora didn't really know how to use it. Jiminy had given him one for future adventures and he had figured it out a little – but he really didn't see a reason to speak to it – or think at it. His thoughts and speech was too jumbled. Riku would use it more than he did. And the fighting gear – they could always use more magical accessories.

"Really?" She giggled. "Between the three of us we could open up a traveling business. I'll cook, Riku can do repairs, and you can clean things... or, uh... oh! Garden! You used to garden with your... Um."

She stopped and looked guilty, and he shifted uncomfortably. "My mother. It's fine Kairi. I... She'll come back eventually, or she won't. Dad says he looks for her every time he goes on a trip."

"How is your father doing? He just got home, didn't he? I'm surprised he didn't force you to stay home. He seems to... Well... Lately whenever he's around, you're with him." She didn't say overprotective but he heard the word there. She was right to – but even if he chafed now under the attention when he had gone so long without it, he still understood it. He was forced to be when he did complain once to Riku and the boy had pointed out he did the same thing sometimes with him.

"I told him it was Riku's birthday and it was a tradition – the word tradition really helps, I've found," Sora said. He glanced back toward Riku's house and his eyes darkened in thought. They had eaten breakfast and now they were all going to head over to the play island for Riku's party – but Riku was taking a long time.

"Traditions are important – but just because something is a tradition, doesn't mean you _have_ to do it." Kairi's voice was strange, and her hand in his squeezed as she stared at him, searching his eyes. He tilted his head, confused suddenly. There was something she was hinting at, something that he was supposed to see.

_'You're in a very traditional relationship,'_ That familiar voice said, but this time it was soft, as if it knew how much pain that would cause. Sora's instant response was for his eyes to widen and to back off a pace. He dropped Kairi's hands, the warmth leaving him quickly. She stared at him quietly and he stared back, the pitter-patter of rain a calming background. It was too bad he wasn't able to be calmed.

Riku stepped out at that moment, as Sora slowly registered what her words meant. Kairi turned to face him first, her expression lightening. "Happy birthday, Riku."

"Thanks, Kairi. Anything wrong?" There was a smile in Riku's voice, but Sora didn't miss the subtle worried undertone and Sora jerked his head up, briefly meeting Riku's eyes. It was a terrible idea and he knew that it was before their eyes met. Sora wasn't very good at keeping his emotions to himself. So he wasn't surprised when Riku's eyes widened.

He slipped his eyes off to the side, settling just off to the side of Riku's face. "Of course we're alright! C'mon, Riku, we've been waiting forever. Let's go!"

He wasn't precisely faking – he just had decided not to think of it yet. It wasn't the time. So he grabbed Kairi's hand – and then he grabbed Riku's as well and pulled them both forward. He tried not to compare the gentle warmth of Kairi's hand to the heat radiating from Riku's. The dock wasn't so far. And he had yet to really think of if Kairi had meant what the voice had indicated she meant.

He almost wished she had.

* * *

He didn't take a rowboat. He glided over the water between Riku and Kairi's boat, leaving his for some of the others to take. Selphie's was leaking lately and Selphie didn't really care. She said that it wasn't her fate to drown and kept using it. Sora hoped she took the hint and used his. Or Tidus and Wakka forced her into it. They were all getting too old to try and double up on any of them. The boats would likely decide to tip under their weight.

Not that any of them were fat – quite the opposite. Even little Selphie had gained muscle since he had been gone and he vaguely remembered her mentioning something about taking lessons. Her new weapon hurt far worse than the jump rope had. Tidus and Wakka had gained blitzball muscles – and thought Tidus hadn't said anything about it, Sora recognized sword calluses when he saw them.

He had to wonder why sometimes – but it wasn't really his business, and with the Heartless around, it wasn't a bad thing for Tidus to know how to use a weapon.

But with all of them taller and weighing more, it was hard for anyone to use the same boat anymore – certainly none of the boys could. Kairi and Selphie had managed it, but it had been difficult to maneuver without much space for arm movements. Sora had decided gliding was better – he just glided over the surface of the ocean. Even on a rainy day he could usually manage as far as the play island.

Except today wasn't a rainy day, it was a stormy day and the ocean wasn't going to stay calm. He found himself dropping down with a yelp when a large wave came at him. The two boats went over it – he, gliding straight, did not. Fortunately, it was easy enough to swim to – a little colder, but he made due and swam just beneath the surface – for all of a minute before a hand jerked him to the surface. "Stay up here."

He turned his head, eyes wide in surprise. Riku shouldn't even have been able to catch up to him in the water. He hadn't been going as fast as he could – but it had been fast enough. His gaze went past Riku to his boat and he exclaimed in surprise, "What happened? Your boat turned over!"

"He Who Lacks Sense didn't like the fact you stayed under for too long and jumped off. Even though we could see you once in awhile beneath the surface." Kairi's voice was amused and he thought he saw her smiling, but he couldn't be sure through the rain and ill lighting from the storm. A crack of lightning confirmed it and he grinned back.

"Well, nothing we can do about it now. Race you?" He turned pleading eyes on Riku, who smirked – but shook his head.

"You've already proved many times that you're faster than me in the water now. We shouldn't tire ourselves out." With that honest statement, Riku head out with strong, steady strokes and Sora shrugged but settled in besides him, content to keep pace with him. He knew Kairi was falling behind - but they would wait once they were on the beach. And someone had to keep a boat.

As they did reach the beach Sora glanced at Riku. "Um, your boat..."

"It'll come to shore. If not... I guess I'll just swim for a while. It's good exercise," Riku replied calmly. Sora raised a skeptical eyebrow. Good exercise – not that good. Not in a storm where the waves fought them every step of the way. For normal kids... they would have drowned. For them, it was just a minor difficulty. But still an annoying one.

Sora glanced away from Riku when the boy ignored him and stared at the storming ocean and the sky, crackling with lightning. It had never been a good idea to do this on Riku's birthday – that was half the fun. The danger involved had always excited them as they wondered if the next wave would swamp them. Of course, at first adults had accompanied them – or more likely, siblings or cousins. Selphie had an older sister who often accompanied them and sometimes Sora's older cousin Zack had been around to help baby-sit.

"Don't just stand there you two! Let's get out of the rain!" Kairi's call woke Sora up and he realized he had been standing there just enjoying the company for a few minutes. He glanced at Riku, who was in an unguarded moment, his gaze oddly fond. He glanced away quickly and Sora did the same, feeling odd. Kairi's earlier words echoed in his head and he hurried after her toward the Secret Place – but not after another backward glance toward Riku.

* * *

Sora had always considered the Secret Place just Riku's, Kairi's, and his own, and the other three island children seemed to agree because when they arrived each year they always called them out – they never came in and got them. Sora knew the others had explored in here, but never when they were around. So it was just the three of them, drying in there and huddled close as Sora struggled to keep a flame at the end of the Keyblade. It was supposed to be a weapon, and it was difficult to sustain it. They would just be going outside again anyway – but when Kairi suggested it, he did it. And he was pleased with the results.

Kairi was huddled to his side, shivering – and Riku was on the other, pressed just as close as Kairi. Sora could feel their breaths against his ribs, breathing in time with him. The muscles on Riku's arms flexed against his when the older boy shifted and his skin could feel the goosebumps that rose on Riku's arm. Sora should have been paying more attention to how Kairi's body felt, or what Kairi was thinking – but it was Riku's birthday. Maybe just this once, it was allowed.

They were nearly warm when the shouts came for them, and Sora was surprised when Kairi shifted forward, stumbling up first. She turned to stare back at them, grinning. "No use waiting – we'll get wet either way."

And then she was gone, and Sora followed at a jog – and Riku even more reluctantly. But the fire of the Keyblade was gone and Sora gestured forward with his now-free hand. "She's right, you know."

"I know. But I just got dry," Riku grumbled. Sora hesitated, remembering the droplets hitting his Reflect spell – and bouncing back. He slowed slightly as he got out of the door and then when they were even, Ultima was in his hand again and before more than a few drops hit them, Reflect briefly covered their heads.

"I am going to use up all of my magic soon – run!" Sora laughed, Riku's astonished and pleased eyes making him grin. They did run, scrambling up the ladder as Sora used one hand to cast it again and the other to launch himself up. Riku was quick to follow – and then they were under a roof again, in the large room they had build onto a tree at the top of the ladders and wooden walkways. He remembered fondly finding the cloth there, for the sail of their raft.

Riku's hair was still nearly dry. Sora's spikes _were_ dry – but they seemed to dry faster than Riku's long silky locks. The other four were blinking at them, and Kairi slowly grinned. "An extra present for the birthday boy?"

"Man, I wish I could do that," Tidus complained.

Sora grinned and shook his head. "Usually it's just used to reflect short attacks – using it longer term is draining. I think I'm out of spells for a few hours at least."

"We'll just have to get wet when we leave then," Kairi said, taking a seat against one wall.

"Or wait a few hours," Riku suggested teasingly, sitting near her, with enough space for one person between them. Sora sat between them, his arms brushing theirs.

Presents had already been stacked in the room – Sora wasn't stupid enough to carry them in the rain when he was gliding. Both he and Kairi had stacked theirs in the room before, as had Selphie. By the damp wrapping paper of two of the presents, Wakka and Tidus had not.

But before that – there was more to do, and Selphie leaned forward. "So, who's going to start?"

Riku cleared his throat. "I think we should go over the rules."

"What? We all know them!" Tidus protested. Sora wriggled uncomfortably, knowing Riku was doing this pointedly for him – he had forgotten last time.

"Base it on real people, but try your best to make it unrecognizable. It should have at least roots in events that happened – yes, Selphie, it can branch off into something you wished had happened instead – and have at least one person here in the story. We have to guess who." There was a spark in Riku's eye, as if he already had some mischief planned.

As there were no objections, Riku grinned. "I'll start."

Sora felt a bit uneasy as Riku shifted, recognizing that he had tensed and there was a darker look in his eyes. He was remembering their journey. "There's stone all around, and beautiful dark carpets. There are four characters, all male. Three stand together, two friends and one arrogant leader. Another follows behind, having just lost his companion and before that, others. He is a loyal friend."

He recognized it. He knew Kairi did as well. He squirmed uncomfortably as Riku continued to tell the story – of two boys with swords and the companions who switched back to the side of their loyal friend even though he had lost the powerful object. Riku was being obscure on purpose, he knew he was. Their friends knew the generalities of what had happened, but not the specifics.

And then the story changed as "the loyal friend" summoned the powerful object. "The arrogant boy felt a change in his heart, and sudden guilt for things he had done against the trio. Instead of the expected fight, the arrogant one laid down his weapon and surrendered. Where a fight had been expected, there was an alliance."

Sora was careful not to look to either side, and he could hear the guilt, and the wistful need in Riku's voice. _'He loves you, you know.'_

Roxas's opinion was unwanted, but Sora wasn't sure anymore if it wasn't true. Both Kairi and Roxas had been hinting it – and a part of him wanted it to be true. He tuned out the ending details of Riku's story. Wakka and Selphie both had triumphant looks on their faces, as if they knew who it was – and probably they did know Riku was in there. But Tidus, who was growing up faster than Sora could understand glanced at Sora out of the corner of his eyes, his expression subdued. He looked like he wanted to ask when the story had changed – Sora looked away.

"Man, it's obviously you," Wakka announced when Riku had finished.

"Yup! Sorry Riku, but you didn't hide your identity well enough," Selphie giggled.

Riku was keeping himself expressionless in the dark and his eyes shifted to Tidus. "Do you agree?"

Tidus's eyes briefly flicked over to Sora. The brunet stared back, unable to figure out what signal to give him. And so Tidus said, "Yeah, it was you. And Sora."

Riku and Kairi both tensed and Selphie was suddenly looking at him wide eyed. "You, Sora? Riku... had been fighting against you?"

"But it was all true, right, man? He joined up with you again." They looked so hopeful. Sora had no idea what to say, and he knew he must look stricken. Tidus looked faintly apologetic now, but his blue eyes were firmly on Riku.

The boy turning seventeen took a breath and stared their friends in the eye. "No, it wasn't all true. When Sora summoned the object – the Keyblade – I fought them all. I gave into the darkness and I betrayed them all."

"You also saved us," Sora pointed out, shifting uncomfortably. He hated when Riku started getting into these moods. It was hard to get him out. Usually he just challenged him to a spar. But that wasn't possible right now.

"It doesn't make up for it. You almost _died_, Sora. You both could have died! The whole damn universe could have been destroyed and it would have been _my_ – Fuck!" Riku's guilty speech was interrupted by Sora's fist. At the last moment he tried to reign in his strength but Riku's head still smacked backwards into the wooden walls. Sora glared at him from the few inches that now separated them.

"It wasn't your fault. It was Xehanort's. We all fell for some kind of manipulation. You think you're the only one who feels guilty? Don't you think sometimes I blame myself for it, Riku? If I'd just made you stay, or heck, if I'd managed to grab your hand that night – but it doesn't matter now, Riku. We're all healthy, and we're fine, and it_wasn't your fault_. And every time you say it is I'm going to hit you." He watched Riku put a hand up to his jaw and rub it as he spoke. He watched Riku's lips part slightly and his tongue lick at apparently dry lips after Sora had stopped speaking. And Sora really wanted to kiss him, to try and show him that he really didn't blame him, that Riku wasn't part of the dark.

Except Riku was still looking at him with guilty eyes, and Sora just shook his head. He couldn't kiss him, because Riku couldn't like him like that, no matter what Roxas or Kairi said. He couldn't kiss him, because their friendship was precious. But he couldn't stay here, because Riku didn't believe him, only felt guiltier in knowing about Sora's guilt.

Sora stood and walked out. He ignored Riku's soft call, or everyone else's – but he heard Kairi come up behind him and he hesitated as he stared down at the ladder. "He doesn't believe me."

"He does – but he doesn't understand it. He told this story tonight because it is another step in trying to heal. He can't understand he doesn't need to make amends. All he sees is the way we've lost our innocence. It's also why he leaves us be as much as possible when we're together – he wants to leave this part of us alone. But... I don't think this part of us belongs to each other, Sora." She touched his shoulder gently and he looked at her, standing in the rain with her hair and dress plastered to her. She was beautiful, and he loved her, but she was right.

He turned toward her and leaned forward slowly. She met him part way and they kissed gently, chastely. He wished he could have given her more. But he couldn't be all that Kairi needed, just like she wasn't all he needed. He put his arms around her and pulled her close, breaking the kiss in favor of a hug. "I love you, Kairi."

"Oh, Sora. I wish we could have made it. I really do. I love you so much." She buried her head in the crook of his neck. He nuzzled the top of her head, and then kissed her forehead gently before just being content to hold her. He should have felt guilty or something – but this was her decision as much as his. Actually, it was more her decision. She probably knew he never would have done this even if he had come to realize he liked Riku in a more than friendly way on his own. He would have stayed by her side. She needed this too. Somewhere out there was the perfect man for her. It just wasn't him.

He swallowed and slowly they backed off. "So. This is it."

She smiled weakly. "Yeah. This is it. I hope – that you and Riku..."

He held up a hand as she trailed off and shrugged, smiling a little. "I don't know if me and Riku will come to anything. I don't know if what I think – what you've hinted – is true. I'll try though. I always try."

"You do – and eventually, if you put your will to it, you succeed. So you'll turn out fine with him – he does love you. It might take awhile for him to admit it, and you might have to make the first move, but you'll get there." She grabbed his hand and squeezed gently – and then let go. "I'll tell him in a week or so. Not right now – we don't want to spoil his birthday more than he's already done. Let's go inside."

He almost did – and then hesitated. There was something else he wanted to know. "In a minute, okay, Kairi? I have to think about something first."

She smiled as if she understood, but it wasn't what she thought. He jumped silently to the roof when she drifted back inside and took a deep breath. No one could see him here – but just to make sure he glided forward, down to the little tower in the cove where he could see there raft, now tied there. Sometimes they took it out for a weekend to pretend.

Under that protection he called into his mind, _'Roxas?'_

There was silence for a moment, and Sora was beginning to wonder if he was going mad. But then there was a snort. _'About time. I've been trying to speak to you for months. Of course you start to listen when I talk about him.'_

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I didn't know you were still there. I... I guess I didn't really think about it." He felt terrible. His Nobody must have been so lonely. He hadn't even thought about Roxas much, or what he must have gone through. And now here they were, and he felt that he had failed somehow – Roxas was his Nobody.

There was a bitter sigh. _'I'm a Nobody. What does it matter? I'm going to fade into you eventually. I'm nothing, just a part of you. I have no existence.'_

"That's not true!" He protested. He didn't think about it, afraid if he did, he would agree with Roxas. He was determined to prove Roxas wrong – they weren't the same. Roxas had once had his own life, his own abilities. He had thought things differently, met different people, and made his own memories.

_'Yes it is. There's nothing that is mine anymore. I can't even touch anything!'_ It was a desperate thought, and in that second Sora could feel the part of his heart and mind that Roxas was in, and he could feel the desperation there, the pain. He wanted it to stop – this was his Nobody. And he didn't deserve this. He didn't know what he was doing – he just wanted Roxas to be able to touch. So he felt around in his heart for that Roxas-part, and switched them.

He didn't expect the pain that came with it, or for both of their thoughts to overlap with pain and confusion. He was going back, Roxas was going forward – even if Roxas didn't know it. _'What's going on? What did you _do

_'You wanted to touch,'_ Sora said weakly, his mind spinning – but only his mind. As his thoughts settled, he realized what Roxas meant. He couldn't feel anything – only Roxas, and echoes of what Roxas was touching. He didn't mind thought – he had to laugh as Roxas just stared.

Roxas slowly reached out a hand to the wooden railings, his hand trembling. "This is real?"

_'Of course it is! How would I make this seem real? I didn't even really know how to switch us.'_ Sora would have shrugged if he had shoulder, but he felt that Roxas understood the sentiment anyway.

"Yeah, you don't have many brains in that empty head of yours," Roxas teased, and Sora pretended to be offended.

_'Hey! My head is not empty – you got along well enough and we share the same head... um, well, sort of.'_ He had been asleep for a while and they hadn't been merged then, so it wasn't quite true – but Roxas was amused and so he knew he had said something right.

Instead of answering, the Nobody just sat down – and picked at his clothes. "They're mine."

_'Well, when you... did whatever to join with me, you were wearing your own clothes, and my clothes are magic, and I guess... that the weirdness of it all is so weird already, the fact that your clothes appear when you do shouldn't really faze either of us much.'_ Sora was a little surprised – but considering they could do this at all, he was glad Roxas ended up with his own clothes.

"You really do think of us as separate. Now that you're hearing me I can hear your thoughts even better," Roxas murmured, and Sora felt guilty. He felt Roxas scowl. "Stop that. You aren't Riku – stop brooding about it. It's fine now."

Roxas held out his hand into the rain. "It feels great." There was a pause. "Actually it feels damn cold, but that's great too."

_'I'm glad – why don't you explore a bit. You've missed a lot – have you ever actually felt a beach?'_ Sora urged him out into the rain, and Roxas jumped down from the tower.

"Not this beach," Roxas answered, wading straight into the waves. They were going to be soaked by the rain anyway. Roxas inhaled the salty air and swallowed with difficult. His throat suddenly felt thick. He was glad it was raining, and that Sora pretended he couldn't feel the warmth of the liquid around Roxas's eyes.

Roxas stayed there, staring at the storm and the dark ocean, and hearing it crash around him, smelling the salt and the life around him, tasting it, touching it, and didn't move until he heard someone calling Sora's name. Then he scrambled back for the tower. Wet muddy sand filled his shoes and he scraped his palm when he tried to grab onto a rock and it was slippery and sharp.

_'We'll do this again,'_ Sora promised as Roxas tried to memorize every detail of the rain, how every droplet sounded as it pounded on the roof of the tower. Then they were switching, and Sora gritted his teeth against the pain. Roxas went reluctantly, but for some reason they both felt the need to keep this from everyone. It was private right now. It was just between the two of them.

Sora opened his yes and pressed a hand to his heart. It felt warm now, and whole, as if a part of him had been healed. He grinned. "I'm glad you're real."

"Sora!" Kairi called from below the tower. He glanced out, leaning over the empty pace left by the ladder. "Riku's going to open the presents! Hurry up! You've been out here forever!"

"The presents! I forgot!" Sora rushed out, jumping down and grabbing Kairi to dash them both into a quick run.

He didn't miss Roxas's answer though, and he hoped the rain was thick enough the Kairi didn't notice him grinning gleefully after Roxas replied, _'I'm glad you're real, too.'_

* * *

End. 

And that would be that little piece many people have wondered about. Hopefully it didn't disappoint and thank you for over a hundred and fifty reviews!


	3. Sephiroth Battles

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

* * *

Interlude – Between Chapter 15 and 16, Sephiroth battles

He had been expecting him. He didn't stand in the same place he had found the Keyblade Master or Cloud – instead he stood closer to the castle, in a clear flat space of blue rock. There was nothing to bounce off of except for one rock that stretched up a meter from where he stood. The cliffs and the town were far away, and the castle was a distant blur on the horizon. And so, there was only one person who would track him out here, perceiving his honor as tarnished if he did not.

"You followed well," he intoned, his eyes sliding back, over to the boy. He was endlessly amused by the fact so many thought to challenge him. He had challenged this one – and the boy had been ignorant enough to take it, despite warnings. Sora would be angry, and possibly try to kill him – but he would have rid the Keyblade Master of a weakness. This child was not worth the gift of his blood. There was too much weakness about him, he was too unsure of his strength and his relationship with Sora. This Keyblade Wielder was weak.

There was a hiss of air and a faint sound of metal against metal that Sephiroth had become well acquainted with – the calling of a Keyblade. "You want me to prove that I'm a challenge right? Worth this?"

Sephiroth smirked but didn't turn. "Worth what? The blade? The Keyblade decides that. Worth him? We both know the answer to that. He is stronger than you, in every way. If he loves you, it is a mistake. You already know that. You are not worth a single drop of his blood. You already knew this."

He could sense the fury and inhaled deeply, drinking it in. There was much darkness tainting this boy – but he was no longer consumed by it. A pity, really. He would have loved to see a time when this boy had fought against Sora. He had heard of it – and the idea was delicious. Such passion between them – and it was in that position this one should have remained. Those who gave in to the dark should remain enemies to those more balanced, not lovers. Those who broke that rule had always regretted it. Except in this case, it was a Keyblade Wielder, and he had struggled his way out of the dark. Sephiroth voiced his final thought. "You are a fool."

"Maybe. But you're wrong. It's not a mistake. I won't believe that. It's Sora's choice if I'm worth it, not yours." Despite his words, there was hesitation in his voice, and Sephiroth made a low noise of amusement. Even now, with a weapon crafted by Sora, this Keyblade Wielder was uncertain. He drew Masamune.

"Perhaps it is his choice – but he can't choose you if I prove your weakness. Your death will be a good example." He turned and slashed at the child. The Wielder dodged – barely. He was not as good as Sora, whose first move had been to block and attack him. This battle would end on his side.

The next sound was of blade on blade, Masamune hissing against the metal of the blood drenched thorns. Already the Wielder was straining against his strength. Sephiroth sneered in contempt as he attacked, each one blocked – until the last, where he flicked beneath his guard and cut deep into the boy's side. Then he leapt back gracefully as the boy gasped, and reached out to call in more energy. He would prove just how weak the boy was – by destroying him without a scratch on him.

His arrogance was proven mistake when the dark balls converged on the apparently pained boy and suddenly the teenager shot up and above the spheres to come at him with surprising speed. Sephiroth blocked the first blow from instinct and teleported away – but not before a small slice appeared on his left arm.

He peered at in curiosity, and then frowned down at the boy from where he hovered. "He had struck me two dozen times by now."

There it was – the flicker of rage and weakness. The boy jumped for him, and he blocked it, slipping around as the boy fell. He was amused to notice the teenager _was_ falling – unlike Sora, he could not glide. He struck him in the back, the blade digging deep before the boy wrenched himself away with a cry of agony, the Keyblade deflecting Masamune away.

Block, block, block, _slice_. That was how the next few minutes of battle went as they stayed on the ground, Sephiroth reestimating his opponent every time. Sometimes his estimation went up – and as the boy did a particularly flashy but altogether stupid move to try and throw a dark aura at his back, it went down very low and the usual slice changed into a stab through his shoulder. The boy hissed, and jumped backwards, the tip of Masamune now dripping with blood. He raised an eyebrow. "Our swords match now."

Rage sprung up in bright eyes and he nearly chuckled. It was too easy to mock these children – child's play to get this one to respond. He had a thousand and one weaknesses, and they were all about his friends. "The girl knew it, didn't she?"

His question hung in the air as the battle went on, the boy panting heavily but trying to discern his meaning as he blocked attacks – and then actually managed a harsh stab and slice to his arm. Sephiroth snarled and jumped up and back, one wing flapping as the boy asked, "Kairi's our friend."

"Yet, the way I heard it, she was in love with the Keyblade master. She knew you would be bad for him." He frowned when the words didn't have the effect he wanted. Instead there was a strange flickering smile on the Wielder's face.

"You don't know us at all. She had Sora. And she was the one who broke up with _him_." The boy leapt for him, and their blades met. He was surprised at the agility the other showed in twisting in midair, using his Keyblade on Masamune for leverage in bringing a leg into his middle. He gasped, as surprised as he was out of breath, and suddenly the Keyblade was slamming into him.

He reappeared down below after only a few hits, leaving the boy to fall while he gathered anger – and power. By the time the boy fell, he was in the air, feeling the power coursing through his veins. His voice was barely audible, but he knew the child heard it when his head snapped up, and he began to run toward him, attempting to strike him down – but it was too late. Sin Harvest was coming down, and he smirked as the child cried out in pain.

He expected the elixir that came and even allowed a moment for it to sink in – and then he was attacking in a rush of lightning fast slashes – and he blocked them all, and came back with his own. Feeling overly surprised at the fact he was now more injured than the child, he did his best to correct this after a barrage of dark auras briefly made him stagger back. His face was expressionless as he raised a hand. The boy rushed right toward him – and only his eyes showed the smug victory as fire enveloped the boy. The anguished scream was enough for him, and he was standing perfectly still as the boy tried to rush through the fire to get to him.

"You don't have the skills or the power to defeat me," He said, affecting a bored down as he easily blocked the Keyblade and sent his opponent crashing back. He followed now with the same lightning fast attack – but the boy was in no shape to block them now and each time he sliced deepened and when brought back Masamune for a final blow, the boy was struggling to get up. He was doing it much too slowly. Those who couldn't keep up didn't deserve to live.

Masamune came up, the Keyblade not rising fast enough – and then there was a blur of black and brown, and a familiar white Keyblade was blocking the sword. Ultima slammed into his middle a second later, sliding off of Masamune to attack him viciously. He blocked it, but the Keyblade Master was fresh, and he was not. But he wouldn't be defeated so easily, and Masamune matched Ultima for half a minute, neither giving ground – until there were people surrounding them, more attacking him and pulling both Keyblade Wielders away.

He flung them off, eyes meeting Cloud's for a brief second. He smirked, just to see the blond bristle, the Buster Sword rise – and then he took to the sky, leaving them all behind. Not escaping them – simply following a different path. He saw no reason to fight now. He would heal and rest and the boy would find him again and finish it. Of that he was sure. There was too much pride in the silver-haired child not to. Too much pride – how well he knew that sin.

* * *

It was unexpected, really. He had ended up back at the cliff where he had fought Sora, fought Cloud. Healed up and Masamune clean, he looked as pristine as ever – Sora found him like that. There was hatred in his eyes, a burning slow rage that he had never expected to see in the Keyblade Master. Not towards anyone. Amusing, that they loved each other so. It would probably get them both killed someday, that love. It always did.

"So impatient to join your lover?" Sephiroth mocked, expecting a barrage of brave words and insults. There was nothing more than a cry of anger as Ultima flashed towards him – and then there were two, and the boy was in yellow. He raised his eyebrows, the only sign of alarms as two Keyblades came where there had been one. Ultima he knew – the other was silvery, and there was the faintest hint of a lion around it. Lionheart. The one given by Squall – or whatever he wished to call himself now.

He had almost expected Fenrir to be part of it – but as the boy spun around him in the air and lightning crashed down around him, he knew this was not a job for Fenrir, the blade not delicate enough to help channel magic. It would do more harm than help, it's swing heavier. But the boy wasn't worried about heavy swing to defeat him – he was trying to hurt him.

In a moment where neither was attacking he flashed upward, wing working – and the boy followed, not flying but actually running up the cliff after him. It would have been astonishing, if this were not the Keyblade Master. Sephiroth was waiting at the top – and pinned him as he reached the top, using momentum to trap Sora against the rock, beneath them, sword pinning his arms down and digging into his middle. "Foolish of you to be so reckless."

Allowing himself to smirk at the wild-eyed look of anger, he savored the moment. An opponent that had beaten him, brought down so easily by his own love of a child who certainly didn't deserve it.

Pausing for even a moment was a mistake. He was always underestimating the young warrior, and he sprang away when the boy hissed, "Earthquake," but it hadn't been aimed where they were – it had been aimed almost directly where Sephiroth landed.

His green eyes snapped up when he dodged away, the edge of it still running him through the leg. He didn't need it – he could fly. But the boy was staring at him, not looking smug, just that same endless anger and he briefly wondered exactly what lengths the boy would go to. And a slight smile flickered on the edges of his lips. What dark depths could he tempt the boy towards, just to get revenge? Would the boy kill him – certainly. But would he hurt him as much as possible? That was something Sora usually would not do.

But this time, Sephiroth knew he would try. And inwardly, he laughed. Prideful warriors – they never even realized when they were slipping into the very thing they despised and fought against. He launched himself back into battle, and they met in the air. He lost himself in the fight, barely taking his eyes off the Keyblade Master's own.

There were pauses when the other danced away to heal, to gather himself – and when the yellow form vanished, the boy breathing hard, he raised a curious eyebrow. There was something lurking there – those dark depths he wondered about. Yet, the boy was almost coming back to himself, ready to end this fight as quickly as possible in the usual way, neither of them dead, both badly hurt – and he didn't want to allow that. "You know, I found a way to improve your lover."

The rage was back and he found himself blocking vicious strikes - and returned ones of his own, smirking when Masamune slid through part of his side, the brown spikes lifting and a neck arching back in pain he wouldn't voice. He pulled it out as he said coolly, "Burnt and screaming fits him so very well."

Blue eyes snapped up and he could see the shock, and took advantage of it. Masamune was slashing fast, and there were a few moments when he knew the warrior was blocking out of instinct by the way Masamune found easier purchase to bite deep and make him bleed. He was offended until the eyes refocused on him, hot anger burning everything else to ashes – until it was all dark. Then the eyes were yellow, and he found himself honestly shocked when something black and dark blue and much too swift – _Heartless, it was a__**Heartless**_ – attacked him.

This was all wrong. The Keyblade Master was supposed to show him the hidden darkness they all had – not bring it to the surface for anyone to see. This was not a creature made mostly of light – it was a creature of darkness and he could scarcely believe this was Sora, the warrior he had fought against. That boy wouldn't have called on the darkness, wouldn't have slapped Masamune away as if it were a toy, uncaring when it did bite into the black inky dark that masqueraded as its skin. Sora had never attacked his wing with such delighted anger.

Sephiroth had found the tables turned, and he did not like it. Perhaps it was time to eliminate the Keyblade Master. This thing that was a part of him could not stop him like the warrior himself could. At least, he believed that up until the point where he was about to call down Sin Harvest, and the thing _leapt_ for him, high and farther than should have been possible, and snagged his legs, clawing and biting and ravaging until they were falling.

He heard something snarl and something yelp in pain and didn't even know which of them it was anymore. They had been reduced to fighting for their lives, Masamune's graceful length the only thing between him and darkness much different than his own – darkness anchored in a heart of mostly light. It shouldn't have been possible.

Water splashed under his feathers as the black _thing_ pinned him down and he realized as he was thrown into a wall, Masamune falling from his grip, that this was the castle. He hadn't even realized they had come back to and passed the place where he had fought the child with Sora's keychain.

Claws dug into his skin, ripping his clothes, his feathers, but he didn't get to feel it all, remarkably surprised when he was thrown into the opposite wall, hard enough that mixed with the pain, he was actually knocked unconscious.

* * *

There was a gentle touch that awoke him just enough to listen, and with the voices mangled he wondered briefly if Aerith had healed him – her of all people. But no, this heart was beyond even Aerith's, and warily opened his eyes to see the three teenagers leaving.

It was an effort to stand and take stock, but he ignored the pain, limping over to Masamune and carefully cleaning the blade as best he could before sheathing it. There was water nearby, and he cleaned himself there as well, not surprised when he felt another presence behind him.

"I thought only Cloud could hurt you that bad." The voice was even, unemotional, and Sephiroth hid a careful grimace. Even Cloud would have been easier to deal with at this moment. But this one lived up to both of his names. He was a storm, and the deceptive lion, all almost casual grace and power – and when unleashed, savage. And like a lion, he was a protector. Sephiroth knew where the town and castle was heading. Even if the lion couldn't see it yet, Radiant Garden had a leader.

"Things have changed," Sephiroth answered smoothly. "Neither Tifa and I are as connected to Cloud as we were. Our existence is not dependent on his own."

"Not surprising. It was only a matter of time. So why fight the boy, knowing that Sora could destroy you for harming him?" There was actual curiosity in the calm voice and he turned to face the man – and was immediately caught in eyes that told the truth behind the patient words. There was rage there, and a threat. Sephiroth met it calmly, but knew despite the lack of pure power compared to the Keyblade Wielders Squall Leonhart made up for it in tactics, determination, and leadership. And he had plenty of power of his own.

He didn't dare break the gaze – he wouldn't be the weaker one – as he answered, "I did not suspect Sora would go that far. Especially not for that one."

Leon's lips quirked slightly, the rage in them calming. It made Sephiroth slightly uneasy and he narrowed his eyes. "What is it?"

"You don't see it do you? Sora's not the first to go that far for a friend. He reminds me of someone. Someone who came to Hollow Bastion at the same time as you and Cloud. And Riku reminds me too... but not of you, Sephiroth. You see yourself in him, but it's only superficial. Inside, he more resembles Cloud." Leon was watching him waiting, and Sephiroth stiffened, seeing the analogy immediately between Sora and another.

"Do not speak of things you don't understand," he intoned savagely. "Zack could be compared to no one."

"Neither can they," Leon returned coldly. "Stop seeing people in them that they aren't."

The man strode away, leaving Sephiroth looking after him, green eyes dark. He would see where this went, this trio of theirs. No matter what the other believed, the darkness was strong – strong enough to pull at the strongest of them. He doubted that the Keyblade Wielder could resist the darkness much longer. It would claim him again, and destroy the Keyblade Master.

Just as it had Zack. 

* * *

End part

Long time coming, I know. Sorry, I had little time and little muse for Vagabonds but I finally got it back and am well on my way to being finished the new chapter of the main story.


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